Doctor's Visit

The other day I woke up afflicted
Just like that, I was lying in my sick bed
I said, "This stinks, I don't want to be sick
I'll go see the doctor, get an analgesic
(That's a kind of medicine you take to get rid of your pain)

The doctor's exam was quite meticulous
She studied me so carefully I thought it was ridiculous
Finally she said, "You've got a germ
My diagnosis is: you're infirm"
(Wait a minute, that's just a fancy way of saying I'm sick! I already knew that!)

I said, "Hey doc, don't want to be ungracious
But you're diagnosis isn't really perspicacious
You have no insight, that's really quite curious.
She said, "I'm not a real doctor; my credentials are spurious."
(But I play one on tv!)

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

M-A-G-N Means Gigantic

M-A-G-N means gigantic
Think big, even bigger than Big Ben
Imagine something big and you'll remember
The meaning of M-A-G-N

Take a small picture make it big as the sky
That's a picture that you just did magnify

Measure an item if you're in the mood
When you know how big it is, you've measured its magnitude

A corporate giant has wealth vast and great
That's a person we describe as a magnate

Do something generous in a bighearted way
You'll do something magnanimous, that's more than A OK

M-A-G-N means gigantic
Think big, even bigger than Big Ben
Imagine something big and you'll remember
The meaning of M-A-G-N

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review