Monday, January 28, 2008

Yo Mama

Yo Mama, Yo Mama, Yo Mama, Yo Mama

Yo mama is so obtuse
She hangs your clothing with a noose
She sold her car to raise gas money
She's so ignorant, it's funny

Yo mama's face is so unsightly
It is in my nightmares nightly
Compared to her Marilyn Manson
Looks just like Scarlett Johansson

Yo mama is so minuscule
She could drown in a wading pool
She needs a ladder to get in a chair
She has to cuff her underwear

Yo mama's so antiquated
Moses was a man she dated
She once had a pet dinosaur
That's all I've got, I have no more

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Perry Gets Around

Perry is a guy who covers lots of ground
In fact his name is Greek for 'about' or 'around'
For being close to the action Perry is renowned
That's why his name is often used as a starting sound

A regular dentist takes a look at your teeth
While a periodontist looks above and beneath
He checks the gums around your teeth

When the moon is as close to the Earth as can be
That part of its orbit's called its perigee
No closer can it be

And you know how the Earth revolves around the sun?
When it can't get any closer, that's its perihelion
It's journey toward the sun is done

Perry travels all around, he's so energetic
He's always on the move, he's peripatetic
It's a good thing he's athletic

Perry is a guy who gets around!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review
If you like "Perry Gets Around," you might also like The Beach Boys.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

America the Pulchritudinous

Oh pulchritudinous
For capacious skies
For saffron waves of grain
For amethyst mountains majesty
Above the bounteous plains
America America
May God slough grace upon ya
And for all eternity
Bless you with fraternity
From Maine to Califania!