Drunkards

I do believe
On New Year's Eve
Some people drink too much
These people all
Are drunkards
And should be described as such

If they drink lots
Then they are sots
And should be so declared
And when they tipple
'Til their knees ripple
You must say they're impaired

Or inebriated
Or intoxicated
Or blotto or besotted
They drink so much
That they're out of touch
Their brains are nearly rotted

So if you imbibe
I will describe
You as one with dipsomania
Don't go out driving
While you're drunk
Or the police will detain ya

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Christmas Carol Words

The words in Christmas carols
Are sometimes quite archaic
Here's a song that explains those words
In terms much more prosaic

On Christmas we will sing
Of good tidings that we bring
Those good tidings we convey
Are good news on Christmas Day

In another Christmas carol
We say we'll don our gay apparel
That means we'll wear happy clothes
From our heads down to our toes

In another song we say
"Let nothing you dismay"
That means "Do not get upset
Christmas is no time to fret!"

The three shepherds did dispense
Lovely myrrh and frankincense
Both are aromatic resins
And they're quite valuable presents!

Wassail is a spicy drink
That can make the glasses clink
Wassailing is what folks do
When they've had too much spicy brew

The words in Christmas carols
Are sometimes quite archaic
This song explained some of those words
In terms much more prosaic

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Judaism 101

A Jew believes there's just one God
No other God exists
Like all others who believe in one God
A Jew is a monotheist

Some Jews like to dance the jig
Others dance the hora
But all believe in the first five books
Of the Bible, which they call the Torah

God gave Moses all the laws
Those laws are called Mosaic
When Jews obey Mosaic law
Their behavior is Judaic

A practicing Jew will not eat pork
If you offer, he'll say "No, sir!"
He won't eat shellfish or mix milk with meat
For those things are not kosher

Rabbi Hillel said "What is hateful to you
Do not do unto others."
That is the whole message of the Jewish faith
Those who follow it live as brothers

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review