Drunkards

I do believe
On New Year's Eve
Some people drink too much
These people all
Are drunkards
And should be described as such

If they drink lots
Then they are sots
And should be so declared
And when they tipple
'Til their knees ripple
You must say they're impaired

Or inebriated
Or intoxicated
Or blotto or besotted
They drink so much
That they're out of touch
Their brains are nearly rotted

So if you imbibe
I will describe
You as one with dipsomania
Don't go out driving
While you're drunk
Or the police will detain ya

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review