Monsters Everywhere

There are monsters everywhere
Wonder who they’re going to scare?

A sea monster big enough to swallow a man
Is sometimes called a leviathan

She can’t really know who will die next, can she?
Of course she can, that monster’s a banshee

Sucking the blood from an animal is so macabre
But that’s what is done by a chupacabra

A tiny ugly monster who makes his home
Beneath the earth’s surface is called a gnome

Scorpion’s tail, lion’s torso
Head of a man, that’s a manticore

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

So

There are monsters everywhere
Wonder who they’re going to scare?

A Face By Any Other Name

A face by any other name
Still looks the same
Still I’m gonna declaim
Some words that mean ‘face’

Right on top of my neck that’s where my noggin be
If you want a fancier word you can’t go wrong with physiognomy

A visual is something you see and my visage is what you see
When you’re looking at me

Do you know Mt. Rushmore? Do you know where that mountain is?
Can you name each of its four countenances?

If you’re hanging out with a hood or a thug
You might hear a face called a puss or a mug

A face by any other name
Still looks the same
Still I’m gonna declaim
Some words that mean ‘face’

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Too Many Words

You're using too many words

The words you use are too abundant
You repeat yourself, you are redundant
When you start to speak we get an overdose
Of the words that you are speaking because you are verbose

You talk so long we get distracted
Do your speeches have to be protracted?
When we complain you say that it's unfair of us
But you just will not stop talking, you're so garrulous

For your diarrhea of the mouth there is no fix
You just go on and on, you are prolix
What we're trying to say in case you haven't heard
Is that you are just using way too many words

You're using too many words

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Geography Terms

Geography terms, geography terms

A chain of islands is called an archipelago
I’d like to go there on vacation, that’s a place that’s swell to go

A narrow waterway between two cliffs is called a fjord
You can visit one in Norway if the fare you can afford

A narrow stretch of land between two seas is called an isthmus
That’s what we call it all year long, not only just on Christmas

At the mouth of a river is a flat expanse of silt
We call that place a delta and it is by nature built

An isolated hill with a flat top and steep sides
Is called a butte by the astute and by all others else besides

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Confused

First I’m sure that she loves me
Then her love I’m sure I’m losing
Love is so confusing

She said that she hated me
And then we cuddled
Am I confused?
Yes, I’m befuddled

She wrote “I love you, you idiot”
In her latest text
Am I confused?
Yes, I’m perplexed

She says she loves ice cream
But she hates custard
Am I confused?
Yes, I’m flustered

She says “No you shouldn’t”
Then she says, “Yes, you must”
Am I confused?
Yes, I’m nonplussed

Because first I’m sure that she loves me
Then her love I’m sure I’m losing
Love is so confusing

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Dios is Spanish for God

Dios is Spanish for God
Dios is Spanish for God
Dios is Spanish for God
Dios is Spanish for God

The one who created the oceans
And the lands from sea to sea
Call Him God or Allah or Krishna
By any name He is the deity

When a Spaniard says “Vaya con Dios”
He’s hoping God will watch over you
When a Frenchman wants to say “I’ll see you in heaven”
That’s when he says adieu

You know, it isn’t easy to be made a god
It’s hard to be deified
It’s even harder to kill a god
That's a thing that we call deicide

Dios is Spanish for God
Dios is Spanish for God
Dios is Spanish for God
Dios is Spanish for God

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

If you like "Dios is Spanish for God,” you might also like the Buena Vista Social Club.

The Nativity

Baby Jesus was born far away from home
In the stable of a stranger
He slept in the box that the animals ate from
A box that’s called a manger
We call that box a manger

An angel flew to some nearby shepherds
With a message he was sent
To announce the arrival of the son of the Lord
That what we call the Advent
His arrival’s called the Advent

The shepherds were happy as they could be
They were filled with elation
They went to the stable to praise the child
That’s called the adoration
It’s called the adoration

Christians believe that on that day
God’s word was made flesh
Some build models of that holy scene
That model’s called a crèche
A nativity or a crèche

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

I Want to Eat!!!

I want a meal and I want it fast
I'm looking for a quick repast
It doesn't have to be incredible
I'll eat anything that's edible
You can call them victuals or call them vittles
Just pile them on my plate, don't give me just a little
I want to eat!

If you want to make me say "Oh gosh!"
All you've got to do is give me a nosh
Give me something that's digestible
That's what I like to call comestibles
You know, I don't need any encouragement
To chow down a load of nourishment
I want to eat!
I want to eat!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

H O M Spells Man

The Spanish say hombre
The French say homme
H O M spells man
No matter where you're from
No matter where you're from

If you kill a man
In a courtroom you'll be tried
The crime you will be charged with
Is homicide

Chimps and gorillas
Have human-like features
We call them hominids
They're human-like creatures

A man who stays cheerful
In a lousy economy
Is a good-natured fellow
A model of bonhomie

Did I ever tell you
About my Uncle Gus?
He's only four foot six
He's a homunculus

The Spanish say hombre
The French say homme
H O M spells man
No matter where you're from
No matter where you're from

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Declaration of Independence

The Declaration of Independence says:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident"
That means they're clear for all to see
"that all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator"
That means God gave them that equality for free
"with certain unalienable rights"
Which means they can't be taken away
"among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness"
That's what the Declaration of Independence does say!

And that's not all it says. It continues

"To secure these rights, Governments are instituted"
A fancy way of saying that they are begun
"deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed"
Their power's based on the agreement of everyone
"And when they become destructive of these ends, "
When the government fails its citizens
"it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it"
The people can just get together and demolish it

That's what the Declaration of Independence says!

Now think for a moment about what this means
It means you're not beholden to kings or queens
When it's time to choose a government, you get your say
Because the people have the power in the USA

Thanks to the Declaration of Independence!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

It's Hot!

It's hot!
It's hot!

When the heat is excessive
It's oppressive

It's hot!

When it's so hot you feel horrid
It's torrid

It's hot!

When the heat could melt your ring
It's sweltering

It's hot!

When you wish you could just be disappearing
It's searing

It's hot!

When the heat's way more than trifling
It's stifling

It's hot!
It's hot!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Evil Everywhere

There is evil everywhere
There's no use to deny it
This song can't make it go away
But it can help you describe it

If you have no morals you are certainly depraved
You'd likely do most anything, your soul cannot be saved

Corrupt implies an evil you acquired from another
As in "He was a nice boy 'til he was corrupted by his brother!"

If your actions are so wicked that they pain us
The things you do can surely be described as heinous

I know this fellow who is strange, with a sheep he flirted
There's no doubt about it, that fellow is perverted

If you're like a devil, if some day in Hell you'll frolic
People might say accurately you're diabolic

There is evil everywhere
There's no use to deny it
This song can't make it go away
But it can help you describe it

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Disconsolate

I am disconsolate
I cannot be consoled
I have a sadness
That cannot be controlled

I am demoralized
My confidence is shaken
I could not be lonelier
I feel so forsaken

And I appreciate your trying to enliven me
But I dont want to be cheered up, cant you see

That I'm disconsolate
I can't be consoled
I have a sadness
That cannot be controlled

I am demoralized
My confidence is shaken
I could not be lonelier
I feel so forsaken

So leave me alone!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Bible Words

Well, the Bible is a great book but it uses some words
That in normal conversation aren't very often heard
Like cubit, rend, and harlot
Beget, beseech and smite
If you don't know what these words mean
Let me set you right

A cubit is the distance from your elbow to your fingertip
When you rend your clothing, you just grab it and rip

A harlot is a women who's romantically wild
Beget is just a fancy way to say "to have a child"

To beseech means to plead with somebody to do what is right
To smite means to hit somebody with all of your might

The Bible is a great book but it uses some words
That in normal conversation aren't very often heard
That's why we call them Bible words

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Here Come the Ghosts

Here come the ghosts
Here come the ghosts
Here come the words for ghosts

A poltergeist makes sure you know that he is there
He loves to makes noises and throws objects in the air

A zombie is a person who returns from the dead
You might call him a revenant if you're well read

A phantom, a specter, and an apparition
These are all words that mean "a ghost-like vision"

A spirit that controls a place is called a numen
I don't know what it is, but I know it's not human

Here come the ghosts
Here come the ghosts
Here come the words for ghosts

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

EU is Good

EU is good
I know that sounds funny
But when "you" is spelled E-U
Then it's right on the money

A sound that is pleasingly sweet and harmonic
Sounds really good so we say it's euphonic

When we are so happy that we're all singing "Gloria"
We're feeling so good we say we're feeling euphoria

If it makes you feel good, if its effect is tonic
A thing can be described as eudemonic

A pet that is old and sick deserves a good end
That pet is euthanized, goodbye old friend

I spoke at a funeral, I spoke well of the dead
My speech was a eulogy, good things I said

EU is good
I know that sounds funny
But when "you" is spelled E-U
Then it's right on the money


by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

English words That Came From Spanish

English words that came from Spanish

Someone who takes the law in his own hands, he
Is known as a vigilante
When your country is betrayed
The one who did it is a renegade

Someone who loads cargo from ship to shore
Is known as a stevedore
A cowboy who works hard for his dinero
Is known as a vaquero

A military government, in case you wonder
Is known as a junta

English words that came from Spanish

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

Sorry

So many different ways to say 'I'm sorry, sorry!'

What I did, it wasn't right
And for that I am contrite
The cruel things I said and meant
For those I am penitent
My regret is in full force
It is deep, I feel remorse
Now that my conscience has started to function
I am feeling great compunction
I'm aware of my disgrace and
That's why you can say I'm chastened

So many different ways to say 'I'm sorry, sorry!'

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

If you like "Sorry," you might also like power pop music.

I Cry Each Day

I cry each day
In a different way

On Monday I howl endlessly
All day I'm loudly bawling
I'm caterwauling

On Tuesday I cry and complain
My behavior's most uncivil
That's when I snivel

On Wednesday I cry like an infant
Who hurt himself by falling
That's when I'm squalling

On Thursday like a tired child
I'm whimpering and drooling
That's when I'm mewling

On Friday I wake up and scream
Then spend the whole day howling
That's when I'm yowling

On Saturday I wail in grief
As though life's lost all meaning
That's when I'm keening

On Sunday I don't cry at all
I have myself a fun day
And wait for Monday!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review

If you like "I Cry Each Day," you might also like The Louvin Brothers.

Party

We're going to have a party, it's going to be great
Each guest has got a different personality trait

Alex isn't friendly, Alex is aloof
Instead of mixing in, he'll sit alone on the roof

Vera is quite talkative, Vera is verbose
She's going to talk your ear off if you get too close

Greg's a party animal, Greg is gregarious
His stories are engrossing and his jokes are hilarious

Melanie is very sad, she is melancholy
She is quite unlike Jolene, who really is quite jolly

Sid is such a brownnose, Sid is sycophantic
His need to flatter everyone truly is gigantic

Ann just loves to argue, she's quite antagonistic
No matter what you say to her, she's bound to go ballistic

Hope that you can make it to the party!

by Tom Meltzer ©The Princeton Review